Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
