does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
