I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
