I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
