I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize