It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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