Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize