maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
