I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
