it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
