Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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