That's intense
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
