She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
