sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize