just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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