I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
