Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
