I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
