I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
