Will you blow on my dice?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
