Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
