he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize