The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Sober January is a disaster.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
