I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize