i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
