you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
