He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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