This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
