There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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