Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
