so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
