Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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