I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
