apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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