Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
