Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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