Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize