Me. At least after what I've been through.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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