Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
