what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
