You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So many bounce houses so little time
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
