This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
