Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
