How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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