you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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