Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
