Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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