is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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