i barfeds in our rink
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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