I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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