eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
