people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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