would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize