You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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