it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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