Got a toothbrush?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
