the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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