are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
