Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
