38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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