I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
